How to Assess Your Communication Skills and Unlock Personal Growth

Communication is the backbone of every human interaction. Whether you're talking to a coworker, delivering a presentation, or engaging in small talk, your ability to communicate effectively can determine success or failure. The interesting part? Most people think they’re good at it—but the reality can be quite different. Have you ever wondered if your communication skills are truly as effective as you believe? In fact, the most crucial step to personal growth in this area is a brutal self-assessment. This might sound harsh, but knowing where you stand is half the battle won. You might be good at sharing ideas, but could your listening skills use improvement? Are you more comfortable with written communication than verbal? Let's dive into ways to assess your communication skills comprehensively.

Reverse-engineering Success Stories

To understand how well you're doing, start by looking at your own success stories—particularly the ones where communication played a central role. Was it a negotiation that went well? A time when you managed to resolve a conflict efficiently? What about a presentation that kept everyone engaged? Break down these situations. What were the elements of your communication style that helped you succeed? Was it the clarity of your message? Your tone? Your ability to engage the audience? The more specific you can get, the more you’ll understand your strengths.

Measuring Against Effective Communicators

Think about the best communicators you know. Whether it’s a charismatic speaker like Simon Sinek or someone you know personally, what are the traits they exhibit? Do they ask questions? Do they listen without interrupting? Do they make others feel heard? Take notes on these traits and compare them to your own style. This process will quickly show you areas where you can improve.

The Feedback Loop

One of the fastest ways to assess your communication skills is to ask for feedback. Now, this is where things get tricky. Not everyone will tell you the hard truth—some people don’t want to offend you. So, you need to ask the right people and frame the question carefully. Ask a colleague, a friend, or even a mentor, "What could I improve in how I communicate with you?" Make sure they know you're genuinely seeking growth, not just fishing for compliments. Once you receive the feedback, resist the urge to defend yourself. Listen closely and use their observations to sharpen your communication.

Self-awareness: The Hidden Skill

Self-awareness is often overlooked when we talk about communication. It’s the ability to pick up on how others are reacting to what you’re saying and adjust accordingly. Are your listeners zoning out? Are they engaging or disengaging with your words? Pay attention to these subtle cues, as they can provide immediate, real-time feedback about how well you're communicating. Develop the habit of observing how others react when you speak and you'll quickly become a more adaptive communicator.

The Listening Test

True communication isn’t just about speaking—it’s about listening. Take a week and focus solely on your listening skills. Do you listen to respond or to understand? This distinction is huge. Many people only wait for their turn to speak, not fully engaging with what’s being said. Practice active listening by paraphrasing the other person’s point of view before offering your own. This not only improves your understanding but also shows others that you value their input.

Body Language Speaks Louder

What you say is only part of the equation. Your non-verbal communication—body language, eye contact, and tone—can completely change the meaning of your words. In fact, studies show that up to 93% of communication effectiveness is determined by non-verbal cues. Pay attention to how you physically present yourself in conversations. Are you crossing your arms? Avoiding eye contact? These small cues can make a massive difference in how your message is received.

The Art of Persuasion

Finally, if you want to assess how strong your communication skills are, evaluate how persuasive you are. Can you influence others to see your point of view? Persuasion isn’t about winning arguments—it’s about creating mutual understanding. One way to test this is by engaging in healthy debates with friends or colleagues. Can you present your argument in a way that resonates with the other person? Are you able to change someone's mind or at least make them reconsider their stance?

Conclusion: The Path to Continuous Growth

Communication skills aren't static. They evolve as you do. By assessing your communication style in various contexts—work, personal life, social interactions—you can discover areas to refine. Keep in mind that becoming a great communicator is a journey, not a destination. Start by reflecting on your past communication successes and failures, seek feedback, and continuously sharpen your listening and non-verbal cues. Over time, you'll find that not only do you communicate better, but you also connect with others on a deeper, more meaningful level.